Who was Jesus REALLY?

There are three compelling arguments that Jesus was Black:

1. He called everyone brother
2. He liked Gospel
3. He didn't get a fair trial

But then there are three equally good arguments that Jesus was Jewish:

1. He went into His Father's business
2. He lived at home until he was 33
3. He was sure his Mother was a virgin and his Mother was sure He was God

There are also three equally good arguments that Jesus was Italian:

1. He talked with His hands
2. He had wine with His meals
3. He used olive oil

Then again, there are three excellent arguments that Jesus was a Californian :

1. He never cut His hair
2. He walked around barefoot all the time
3. He started a new religion

But then there are three perfectly good reasons to argue that Jesus was an American Indian :

1. He was at peace with nature
2. He ate a lot of fish
3. He talked about the Great Spirit

Of course, there were three equally good arguments that Jesus was Irish:

1. He never got married.
2. He was always telling stories.
3. He loved green pastures.

But finally, we have the most compelling evidence of all, which proves that Jesus was probably a woman:

1. He fed a crowd at a moment's notice when there was virtually no food.
2. He kept trying to get a message across to a bunch of men who just didn't get it.
3. And even when He was dead, He had to get up because there was still work to do.