In France, truffles are scarcer than ever, but new research might change that. Scientists in Italy believe the fungus is created when male and female spores meet, and that truffles grow near oaks and certain other trees.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/food_and_drink/article5613938.ece
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
JS Reutz Catering
I've been receiving calls from supporters of Second Helpings and former customers of Just 'Cause Catering about catering options close to downtown.
One of my recommendations is Jeff Reuters at the JS Reutz Cafe, located in the Boner Center. I've written about them previously here.
You can check out their catering menu on their website here.
One of my recommendations is Jeff Reuters at the JS Reutz Cafe, located in the Boner Center. I've written about them previously here.
You can check out their catering menu on their website here.
Friday, January 16, 2009
You Want To See A Hero?
(CNN) -- Passengers on the US Airways flight that crash-landed into the Hudson River Thursday afternoon praised the actions and courage of the pilot, a safety consultant with 40 years of experience in the aviation industry.
Sources tell CNN that Chesley B. "Sully" Sullenberger was piloting US Airways flight 1549 from New York's LaGuardia airport to Charlotte, North Carolina, when at least one of the plane's engines failed.
Passenger Jeff Kolodjay offered "kudos" to Sullenberger for a landing that minimized damage to the aircraft and its 155 passengers and crew.
"All of a sudden the captain came on and he told us to brace ourselves and probably brace ourselves pretty hard. But he did an amazing job -- kudos to him on that landing," said Kolodjay, who was sitting in seat 22A.
Sullenberger's wife told CNN that she was stunned to hear the news from her husband after it was all over.
"I hadn't been watching the news. I've heard Sully say to people, 'It's rare for an airline pilot to have an incident in their career,' " said Lori Sullenberger of Danville, California.
"When he called me he said, 'There's been an accident.' At first I thought it was something minor, but then he told me the circumstances and my body started shaking and I rushed to get our daughters out of school."
US Airways said all 155 passengers and crew are alive and safely off the plane.
The crash-landing has also earned the former fighter pilot and private safety consultant accolades from state and government officials.
New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg commended the pilot for not leaving the plane without checking to make sure every passenger had been evacuated.
"It would appear that the pilot did a masterful job of landing the plane in the river and then making sure that everybody got out," Bloomberg said at a press conference Thursday.
"I had a long conversation with the pilot. He walked the plane twice after everybody else was off and tried to verify that there was nobody else on board -- and assures us there was not."
Sullenberger apparently was forced to make an emergency landing after geese were sucked into one or both of the jet's engines. An eyewitness working on the west side of Manhattan said the belly of the plane touched the water first.
An official who heard tape recordings of the radio traffic from Flight 1549 reported the pilot was extraordinarily calm during the event.
"There was no panic, no hysterics," the official said. "It was professional, it was calm, it was methodical. It was everything you hoped it could be."
The pilot and air traffic controller discussed options, including landing at Teterboro airport in New Jersey, the official said. Then there was a "period of time where there was no communications back, and I'm assuming he was concentrating on more important things."
Sullenberger's background in aviation appeared to have prepared him for such a situation.
He has been a pilot with US Airways since 1980, following seven years in the U.S. Air Force.
His resume -- posted on the Web site for his safety consulting firm, Safety Reliability Methods, Inc. -- lists piloting procedures, technical safety strategies, emergency management and operations improvement, as areas of industry expertise.
He served as an instructor and Air Line Pilots Association safety chairman, accident investigator and national technical committee member, according to a biography on the site. He participated in several USAF and National Transportation Safety Board accident investigations, and worked with NASA scientists on a paper on error and aviation, his site says.
For the passengers on flight 1549, Sullenberger's skill and expertise were apparent.
"I've flown in a lot of planes and that was a phenomenal landing," said passenger Fred Berretta said.
Berretta was sitting in seat 16A right over one of the engines when it failed and the pilot turned the plane to align it with the Hudson River. He described silence in the plane as the passengers waited to hear from the crew.
A few moments later, the direction to brace for landing came.
"It was an amazing piece of airmanship," said Peter Goelz, a former NTSB managing director.
Friday, January 2, 2009
'Tis the Season (STILL) - Part 2
With all the controversy surrounding Christmas and other public observances that contain elements of religious symbolism, I'd like to offer the following totally inoffensive expression of goodwill for your use in next year's holiday greeting card:
Please accept with no obligation, implied or explicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasion and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all.
I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2009, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great. That is not meant to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country nor the only America in the Western Hemisphere.
Also, this wish is made without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual orientation of the recipient.
Please accept with no obligation, implied or explicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasion and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all.
I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2009, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great. That is not meant to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country nor the only America in the Western Hemisphere.
Also, this wish is made without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual orientation of the recipient.
'Tis the Season (STILL)
An interesting bit of holiday information from today's correspondence:
There is one Christmas carol that has always baffled me. What in the world do leaping lords, French hens, swimming swans, and especially the partridge who won't come out of the pear tree have to do with Christmas?
This week, I found out.
From 1558 until 1829, Roman Catholics in England were not permitted to practice their faith openly. Someone during that era wrote this carol as a catechism song for young Catholics.
It has two levels of meaning: the surface meaning, plus a hidden meaning known only to members of their church. Each element in the carol has a code word for a religious reality which the children could remember.
The partridge in a pear tree was Jesus Christ.
Two turtle doves were the Old and New Testaments.
Three French hens stood for faith, hope and love.
The four calling birds were the four gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke & John.
The five golden rings recalled the Torah or Law, the first five books of the Old Testament.
The six geese a-laying stood for the six days of creation.
Seven swans a-swimming represented the sevenfold gifts of the Holy Spirit--Prophesy, Serving, Teaching, Exhortation, Contribution, Leadership, and Mercy.
The eight maids a-milking were the eight beatitudes.
Nine ladies dancing were the nine fruits of the Holy Spirit--Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, and Self Control.
-The ten Lords a-leaping were the Ten Commandments.
-The eleven pipers piping stood for the eleven faithful disciples.
-The twelve drummers drumming symbolized the twelve points of belief in the Apostles' Creed.
MERRY CHRISTMAS
There is one Christmas carol that has always baffled me. What in the world do leaping lords, French hens, swimming swans, and especially the partridge who won't come out of the pear tree have to do with Christmas?
This week, I found out.
From 1558 until 1829, Roman Catholics in England were not permitted to practice their faith openly. Someone during that era wrote this carol as a catechism song for young Catholics.
It has two levels of meaning: the surface meaning, plus a hidden meaning known only to members of their church. Each element in the carol has a code word for a religious reality which the children could remember.
The partridge in a pear tree was Jesus Christ.
Two turtle doves were the Old and New Testaments.
Three French hens stood for faith, hope and love.
The four calling birds were the four gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke & John.
The five golden rings recalled the Torah or Law, the first five books of the Old Testament.
The six geese a-laying stood for the six days of creation.
Seven swans a-swimming represented the sevenfold gifts of the Holy Spirit--Prophesy, Serving, Teaching, Exhortation, Contribution, Leadership, and Mercy.
The eight maids a-milking were the eight beatitudes.
Nine ladies dancing were the nine fruits of the Holy Spirit--Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, and Self Control.
-The ten Lords a-leaping were the Ten Commandments.
-The eleven pipers piping stood for the eleven faithful disciples.
-The twelve drummers drumming symbolized the twelve points of belief in the Apostles' Creed.
MERRY CHRISTMAS
Saturday, December 27, 2008
They'll Never Get a Jury to Convict...
CNN - A man angry that a family was talking during a movie threw popcorn at the son and then shot the father in the arm, according to police in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.
James Joseph Cialella, 29, was charged with attempted murder, aggravated assault and weapons violations, a police report said.
Cialella told the family sitting in front of him in the theater on Christmas Day to be quiet, police said.
An argument ensued while others at the Riverview Movie Theatre watched "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button," starring Brad Pitt and Cate Blanchett, The Philadelphia Inquirer reported.
Cialella then approached the family from the left side of the aisle and shot the father, who was not identified, as he was standing between Cialella and his family, according to the police report.
The victim was taken to Jefferson Hospital with a gunshot wound to his left arm, police said.
Cialella was carrying a Kel-Tec .380-caliber handgun clipped inside his sweatpants, police said. He was arrested and taken into custody.
James Joseph Cialella, 29, was charged with attempted murder, aggravated assault and weapons violations, a police report said.
Cialella told the family sitting in front of him in the theater on Christmas Day to be quiet, police said.
An argument ensued while others at the Riverview Movie Theatre watched "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button," starring Brad Pitt and Cate Blanchett, The Philadelphia Inquirer reported.
Cialella then approached the family from the left side of the aisle and shot the father, who was not identified, as he was standing between Cialella and his family, according to the police report.
The victim was taken to Jefferson Hospital with a gunshot wound to his left arm, police said.
Cialella was carrying a Kel-Tec .380-caliber handgun clipped inside his sweatpants, police said. He was arrested and taken into custody.
Friday, December 19, 2008
Congratulations to Class 52!
Congratulations to Class 52 of the Second Helpings Culinary Job Training Program, who graduated on December 19, 2008.
(Front Row, Left to Right) Heather A. Holiday, Torie A. Smith, Ronald R. Richardson, Carla R. Slaughter, Robin J. Murry
(Back row) Chef Conway, Douglas D. Smith, Michael A. Strong, James R. White, Jr., Lawrence Dove, and Damon T. Malone.
(Front Row, Left to Right) Heather A. Holiday, Torie A. Smith, Ronald R. Richardson, Carla R. Slaughter, Robin J. Murry
(Back row) Chef Conway, Douglas D. Smith, Michael A. Strong, James R. White, Jr., Lawrence Dove, and Damon T. Malone.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
A Gift For a Teacher
LITTLETON - "Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus. He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exists, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy." This line is from one of the most famous newspaper editorials ever written, and it was inspired by a child.
Children have the ability to inspire the best in all of us. The students at Normandy Elementary School in Littleton have taken their love for a teacher to a new level, inspiring their parents, educators and members of the community.
Two students who happen to be sisters, started "The True Gift Fund" to help fourth grade teacher Jewely Del Duca.
Del Duca is fighting stage 4 colon cancer. She is 35 years old.
While undergoing chemotherapy she has remained in the classroom. Del Duca says her students keep her mind off cancer and provide her with encouragement and support.
This experience has provided students many other important lessons too. Del Duca is hoping to qualify for HIPEC treatment (Hyperthermic Intraperitoneal Chemotherapy) which involves a surgical procedure where a heated form of chemotherapy is delivered to the abdominal cavity.
Three times, Del Duca's insurance company denied her request for the expensive treatment.
Her story appeared on 9NEWS and CNN and the insurance company reconsidered.
Unfortunately, Del Duca is still waiting for consensus from doctors to get the treatment. In the meantime, her family and friends are raising money to cover the medical costs.
Del Duca's battle has had a significant impact on Jenna and Jocie Bradford. Jenna, who is in the sixth grade, remembers Mrs. Del Duca as her favorite teacher. Jocie is in Del Duca's class this year.
When Jenna started to think about Christmas this year she came up with an idea.
"I thought it would be better to instead of getting Christmas presents this year, that we donate all the money to Mrs. Del Duca," said Jenna.
In addition, she decided to ask every student at Normandy to consider giving up one gift and donate to the fund.
Jocie liked the idea too, although she was a wee bit concerned about giving up every present.
"I thought it was a good idea, but then I was like, there's going to be no presents. Then I started thinking of Santa and my grandma and grandpa and I knew that they would get me presents. And I was OK with that, because my room is just a cluttered mess," she said.
Del Duca was astounded by the children's selflessness. To give up Christmas presents is a big deal.
"To give it up for another human being is such a mark of empathy," added Del Duca.
The students have a Christmas tree just outside the front office with a message about the True Gift Fund. Everyone who donates is given a frog ornament, because Mrs. Del Duca collects stuffed frogs.
So far, the fund is up to $6,000, with a goal of $25,000.
Del Duca says she cried the first time she saw the tree. It reminded her how important the students are in her fight to survive.
"It definitely boosts my energy to so this. The fight, I know I'm not in it by myself, I know that my friends and family want me to fight and they're fighting with me," she said.
You can help too. You can contribute by writing a check to The Jewely Del Duca Fund at any Bellco Credit Union.
(Copyright KUSA*TV. All rights reserved.)
Children have the ability to inspire the best in all of us. The students at Normandy Elementary School in Littleton have taken their love for a teacher to a new level, inspiring their parents, educators and members of the community.
Two students who happen to be sisters, started "The True Gift Fund" to help fourth grade teacher Jewely Del Duca.
Del Duca is fighting stage 4 colon cancer. She is 35 years old.
While undergoing chemotherapy she has remained in the classroom. Del Duca says her students keep her mind off cancer and provide her with encouragement and support.
This experience has provided students many other important lessons too. Del Duca is hoping to qualify for HIPEC treatment (Hyperthermic Intraperitoneal Chemotherapy) which involves a surgical procedure where a heated form of chemotherapy is delivered to the abdominal cavity.
Three times, Del Duca's insurance company denied her request for the expensive treatment.
Her story appeared on 9NEWS and CNN and the insurance company reconsidered.
Unfortunately, Del Duca is still waiting for consensus from doctors to get the treatment. In the meantime, her family and friends are raising money to cover the medical costs.
Del Duca's battle has had a significant impact on Jenna and Jocie Bradford. Jenna, who is in the sixth grade, remembers Mrs. Del Duca as her favorite teacher. Jocie is in Del Duca's class this year.
When Jenna started to think about Christmas this year she came up with an idea.
"I thought it would be better to instead of getting Christmas presents this year, that we donate all the money to Mrs. Del Duca," said Jenna.
In addition, she decided to ask every student at Normandy to consider giving up one gift and donate to the fund.
Jocie liked the idea too, although she was a wee bit concerned about giving up every present.
"I thought it was a good idea, but then I was like, there's going to be no presents. Then I started thinking of Santa and my grandma and grandpa and I knew that they would get me presents. And I was OK with that, because my room is just a cluttered mess," she said.
Del Duca was astounded by the children's selflessness. To give up Christmas presents is a big deal.
"To give it up for another human being is such a mark of empathy," added Del Duca.
The students have a Christmas tree just outside the front office with a message about the True Gift Fund. Everyone who donates is given a frog ornament, because Mrs. Del Duca collects stuffed frogs.
So far, the fund is up to $6,000, with a goal of $25,000.
Del Duca says she cried the first time she saw the tree. It reminded her how important the students are in her fight to survive.
"It definitely boosts my energy to so this. The fight, I know I'm not in it by myself, I know that my friends and family want me to fight and they're fighting with me," she said.
You can help too. You can contribute by writing a check to The Jewely Del Duca Fund at any Bellco Credit Union.
(Copyright KUSA*TV. All rights reserved.)
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
'Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer' Causes Stir at School
WILMINGTON, N.C. - "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" caused a stir at a New Hanover County school.
A parent complained about the song's religious reference and got it pulled from her child's kindergarten Christmas show at Murrayville Elementary School.
The song was pulled “because it had the word Christmas in it,” said Rick Holliday, assistant school superintendent.
A Jewish mother, who didn't want her name published, objected to what she called "religious overtones" in the song. So the principal agreed to pull it from the program.
School administrators said they were then flooded with complaints from other angry parents.
“I would say it's not a very religious song. It's about Santa Claus,” parent Anne Vanslyke said.
School board members, administrators and attorneys listened closely to the song's lyrics and decided the song was secular.
“Rudolph is a secular song. It was about a flying reindeer, not a religious symbol,” Holliday said.
Many parents shouted out with glee when they heard the song was back in the program.
“I think it's great that they let the kids sing because all the kids love that song,” Vanslyke said.
Any student who objects to singing a Christmas song or attending a program can decline participation and will not be penalized, according to school administrators.
“We do try to be cognizant of everyone's feelings,” Holliday said.
School administrations also decided that for future concerts, religious songs can be included, as long as other faiths are represented as well.
A parent complained about the song's religious reference and got it pulled from her child's kindergarten Christmas show at Murrayville Elementary School.
The song was pulled “because it had the word Christmas in it,” said Rick Holliday, assistant school superintendent.
A Jewish mother, who didn't want her name published, objected to what she called "religious overtones" in the song. So the principal agreed to pull it from the program.
School administrators said they were then flooded with complaints from other angry parents.
“I would say it's not a very religious song. It's about Santa Claus,” parent Anne Vanslyke said.
School board members, administrators and attorneys listened closely to the song's lyrics and decided the song was secular.
“Rudolph is a secular song. It was about a flying reindeer, not a religious symbol,” Holliday said.
Many parents shouted out with glee when they heard the song was back in the program.
“I think it's great that they let the kids sing because all the kids love that song,” Vanslyke said.
Any student who objects to singing a Christmas song or attending a program can decline participation and will not be penalized, according to school administrators.
“We do try to be cognizant of everyone's feelings,” Holliday said.
School administrations also decided that for future concerts, religious songs can be included, as long as other faiths are represented as well.
Monday, December 8, 2008
Giving For The Holidays
From Today's Correspondence:
We know that the economy is hurting many people this holiday season, but if you are able, we have made donating a little more convenient for you this year.
The Tie Dye Grill is proud to be a drop off site for the following items.
We have partnered with WRTV6 and the Warren Township trustee to be a drop off for Toys for Tots. Please drop by and bring a new unwrapped gift for a needy child in our community. There are many, many families that need help this year.
We also have a box for Veterans needing Scarves, socks, hats, gloves for the VA Hospital. This is sponsored by Travis Watts, ( Kevin's son) and the fifth graders at Bookview Elementary. This is Travis's brainchild, as they are HIS heroes, so please keep those warm who have kept us safe... The Veteran Box will be here until Dec. 14, only a few days left.
Please help us help those in need this holiday season!
Happy Holidays!
Shayne & Jan Dye
The Tie Dye Grill
1311 N. Shadeland Ave.
Indianapolis, In. 46219
Ph. 317-353-9393
Fax 317-353-6070
www.thetiedyegrill.com
We know that the economy is hurting many people this holiday season, but if you are able, we have made donating a little more convenient for you this year.
The Tie Dye Grill is proud to be a drop off site for the following items.
We have partnered with WRTV6 and the Warren Township trustee to be a drop off for Toys for Tots. Please drop by and bring a new unwrapped gift for a needy child in our community. There are many, many families that need help this year.
We also have a box for Veterans needing Scarves, socks, hats, gloves for the VA Hospital. This is sponsored by Travis Watts, ( Kevin's son) and the fifth graders at Bookview Elementary. This is Travis's brainchild, as they are HIS heroes, so please keep those warm who have kept us safe... The Veteran Box will be here until Dec. 14, only a few days left.
Please help us help those in need this holiday season!
Happy Holidays!
Shayne & Jan Dye
The Tie Dye Grill
1311 N. Shadeland Ave.
Indianapolis, In. 46219
Ph. 317-353-9393
Fax 317-353-6070
www.thetiedyegrill.com
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Helping the "Help-Resistant"
By Martha Beck
(OPRAH.com) -- Margaret's twin girls were halfway through high school when she started thinking about returning to school herself. "I've always wanted to finish my degree," she told me. "Maybe get a master's, even. I'd like to teach."
"Cool!" I said. Margaret had been complaining of boredom, and I knew she'd thrive in an academic environment.
"But," she told me, her voice tightening, "there are problems. Jeff and the girls are used to me being home, cleaning, cooking..."
"Have you talked to them about it?"
"No, because there's more," said Margaret. "We only have two cars. Jeff drives one, and sometimes the girls need the other one in the evenings."
"Well, you can take classes when they're in school."
"But sometimes they drive to school. Then I don't have a car until afternoon."
"Then take the bus. Or have the kids take the bus. Or have Jeff drop them off. Or sign up for distance learning."
I was getting into quite a lather of life-coachy problem solving, but Margaret would have none of it. Every time I lobbed a suggestion, she'd smack it back at me like a tennis pro. After a 10- or 15-minute rally, I finally realized that the real issue wasn't Margaret's continuing education. It was something I call "help resistance." Oprah.com: Are the people in your life sucking you dry?
There may be infinite reasons Margaret and others like her ask for help and then reject it; some people may be deeply ambivalent, others biologically anxious, or a few unconsciously combative.
Whatever their motivation, people who resist help can frustrate you half to death, batting back every solution they request with the surreal persistence of Venus and Serena combined. The next time you encounter someone who resists help, I recommend stopping the fruitless verbal rally and addressing the real problem directly.
One of my personal mottoes is "Love it, leave it, or lead it." When faced with a problem, I allow myself these three options -- and only these three.
"Love it" means peacefully accept whatever's happening. If that's not possible, I may be able to "leave it," simply walk away from the whole dilemma. The third option, "lead it," requires that I recognize and use whatever power I have (even if I feel helpless). If I can't devise a solution on my own, I must "lead" my helpers by asking clear, purposeful questions and taking good advice when I get it.
I've found that the "three Ls" are invaluable when you find yourself trading volleys with someone who doesn't want to change.
Loving it: The Pollyanna response
If someone you like goes into a spate of help resistance, try loving your way out. Say something like this: "Well, that's quite a conundrum, but I know you'll figure it out. You're so smart and resourceful. Go for it!"
This response will frustrate most help resisters, who often want sympathy and concern, not cheerleading. They might plead with you, saying: "But I'm really worried! I don't know what to do!" If this happens, just keep reiterating your support, like Pollyanna at a pep rally: "Yes, and I'm absolutely positive you'll do the right thing. Hooray for you!"Oprah.com: How to set personal boundaries
Knowing how to "love it" is like having a killer forehand. Every time a floundering friend or family member serves gloom and doom, you bounce it back with adulatory optimism. Eventually, your opponent will tire and leave the court.
Leaving it: The guy response
If you have no interest in maintaining cordial relations with people who resist help, there's a quick way to get them to leave you alone -- forever. I also call this the Guy Response, because men (who aren't cursed with the so-called "tend and befriend" hormones that make us females offer sweaters and sandwiches to people who are actively burglarizing our homes) often do it naturally.
To use the Guy Response, listen as the person describes the problem, then say: "Wow, sounds like you're screwed. Have you seen my car keys?"
If the friend keeps trying to get your attention ("Are you listening to me? I've got a problem here!"), you can say, "I think I left them in the car. I'm going to check." Then leave.
There's a variation on this response, which I enjoy using on help resisters who bemoan First World problems like a delay in scheduling liposuction, or the inability to get people to weedwack their yards for less than minimum wage.
While staring at the person with an expression of shock and awe, say, "Oh my God, that's horrible." (You can find suitable facial expressions by going to YouTube and searching for the terms "dramatic chipmunk" and "dramatic lemur." Seriously -- check them out.) Then go look for your keys.
These "leave it" reactions are extremely effective, and can be quite enjoyable if you don't mind being crossed off a few holiday greeting-card lists. Wherever you want to avoid that side effect, try the more complex and thoughtful "lead it" strategy.
Leading it: The constructive response
When someone you really love goes into help-resistance mode, it may be time for you to lead the situation. In this case, that means asking for the information you need to be genuinely helpful. Say something like this:
"I can tell you need some kind of support from me, but I'm not exactly sure what it looks like. Do you want me to help you brainstorm solutions? Should I just be a neutral backboard, so you can bounce ideas off me? Or do you just need someone to understand how frustrated you're feeling? Tell me what you need. I'm here for you 100 percent." Oprah.com: How to have the hard talks
If you say this sincerely, even many people who habitually resist help will stop mindlessly backhanding your ideas and think through their real desires. This creates an atmosphere of honesty and relaxation, where real problem solving is most likely to occur -- and it also improves your relationship. In tennis scoring, I believe they call it "love."
Every now and again, I get into a mental match with a particularly resistant and annoying help resister: me. I hear my own voice, talking either to myself or a frustrated friend: "I need to work out, but I can't exercise in the morning because I always get injured when I do. By noon it's too hot, and I hate exercising indoors. And at night I'm just exhausted."
I can only imagine how frustrating this must be for my friends and family, given that it makes me want to knock myself unconscious with my own racket. Fortunately, the same approaches that work on others work splendidly when I'm the source of the problem.
The fastest way to bring change to a resistant situation is to accept it. Don't believe me? Try this: Think of a subject where you feel ambivalent (you want a baby but worry about your career; you're environmentally sensitive but can't imagine surrendering your Humvee; you're strictly vegan except that you so adore veal binges). Whatever your issue, write it down. Now, decide to do one thing or the other. Now! Right now!
You probably noticed that pressure spikes your anxiety, anger, rage, panic... in a word, your resistance. The best case is that it shoves you into quick decisions that don't really resolve your ambivalence. So let's try another approach. Let's say that for the next hour, you'll simply accept that you're not sure what to do. That's okay. Uncertainty won't kill you. For one hour, let it be.
If you do this mindfully, you'll feel a sense of relief, a space opening around the difficult issue. This enhances creativity -- so, paradoxically, accepting indecisiveness actually frees your mind to devise effective solutions. That's where the other two strategies come in.
Perhaps you feel obligated to do something you deeply don't want to do, such as watching political debates or contacting your PTA group leader. You may be resisting all suggestions because what you really want to do is simply "leave it." Quit the hated job. Don't return the e-mail. Just say nothing.
This is a daring solution, but think: Is "leaving" the problem really scarier than coming up with reasons not to leave the problem? If your answer is "yes," you may have reached a true impasse. Strangely enough, it's when you feel really helpless that you must pick up your authority and "lead" the situation.
You not only can but must lead situations where you genuinely need help. No one except you can say exactly what's stopping you, exactly where you're blocked by confusion or ignorance. Take charge not by demanding and then ignoring the help that's offered but by figuring out as clearly as you can just what you need, then requesting assistance from people who, in your judgment, are likely to be able to provide it. Even if they can't help you, they can usually refer you to someone else who can.
When Margaret did this, she understood her real problem wasn't the logistical difficulty of returning to school but her own anxiety about doing something new. Once she admitted that, she chose the hero's solution: Feel the fear and do it anyway.
Of course, she did need her family's assistance. She asked them if they'd share housework and driving. They exceeded her expectations, offering all sorts of suggestions, which Margaret gratefully accepted. Game, set, and match to Team Margaret.
Moving forward
If you follow the three Ls whenever you encounter help resistance, you'll find yourself playing a lot less verbal tennis. Excuse-making, whining, and pointless reiteration will disappear from your life. Not only will people who ask for help (but ignore it) cease seeking you out but you'll find yourself more capable of either peacefully accepting periods of indecision or getting the effective assistance that moves you forward quickly and decisively.
All the energy that once went into complaining, suggesting, and complaining some more (back and forth and back and forth and back and frigging forth) will align to propel you toward adventures and achievements.
I'm absolutely sure you can do this -- you with that clever mind, that resourceful nature, that winning smile. So get going, kiddo!
What's that? You're not sure of yourself? You have doubts? Things are more complicated than that?
Wow, I had no idea. I guess you're screwed. Have you seen my car keys?
By Martha Beck from "O, The Oprah Magazine," December 2008
(OPRAH.com) -- Margaret's twin girls were halfway through high school when she started thinking about returning to school herself. "I've always wanted to finish my degree," she told me. "Maybe get a master's, even. I'd like to teach."
"Cool!" I said. Margaret had been complaining of boredom, and I knew she'd thrive in an academic environment.
"But," she told me, her voice tightening, "there are problems. Jeff and the girls are used to me being home, cleaning, cooking..."
"Have you talked to them about it?"
"No, because there's more," said Margaret. "We only have two cars. Jeff drives one, and sometimes the girls need the other one in the evenings."
"Well, you can take classes when they're in school."
"But sometimes they drive to school. Then I don't have a car until afternoon."
"Then take the bus. Or have the kids take the bus. Or have Jeff drop them off. Or sign up for distance learning."
I was getting into quite a lather of life-coachy problem solving, but Margaret would have none of it. Every time I lobbed a suggestion, she'd smack it back at me like a tennis pro. After a 10- or 15-minute rally, I finally realized that the real issue wasn't Margaret's continuing education. It was something I call "help resistance." Oprah.com: Are the people in your life sucking you dry?
There may be infinite reasons Margaret and others like her ask for help and then reject it; some people may be deeply ambivalent, others biologically anxious, or a few unconsciously combative.
Whatever their motivation, people who resist help can frustrate you half to death, batting back every solution they request with the surreal persistence of Venus and Serena combined. The next time you encounter someone who resists help, I recommend stopping the fruitless verbal rally and addressing the real problem directly.
One of my personal mottoes is "Love it, leave it, or lead it." When faced with a problem, I allow myself these three options -- and only these three.
"Love it" means peacefully accept whatever's happening. If that's not possible, I may be able to "leave it," simply walk away from the whole dilemma. The third option, "lead it," requires that I recognize and use whatever power I have (even if I feel helpless). If I can't devise a solution on my own, I must "lead" my helpers by asking clear, purposeful questions and taking good advice when I get it.
I've found that the "three Ls" are invaluable when you find yourself trading volleys with someone who doesn't want to change.
Loving it: The Pollyanna response
If someone you like goes into a spate of help resistance, try loving your way out. Say something like this: "Well, that's quite a conundrum, but I know you'll figure it out. You're so smart and resourceful. Go for it!"
This response will frustrate most help resisters, who often want sympathy and concern, not cheerleading. They might plead with you, saying: "But I'm really worried! I don't know what to do!" If this happens, just keep reiterating your support, like Pollyanna at a pep rally: "Yes, and I'm absolutely positive you'll do the right thing. Hooray for you!"Oprah.com: How to set personal boundaries
Knowing how to "love it" is like having a killer forehand. Every time a floundering friend or family member serves gloom and doom, you bounce it back with adulatory optimism. Eventually, your opponent will tire and leave the court.
Leaving it: The guy response
If you have no interest in maintaining cordial relations with people who resist help, there's a quick way to get them to leave you alone -- forever. I also call this the Guy Response, because men (who aren't cursed with the so-called "tend and befriend" hormones that make us females offer sweaters and sandwiches to people who are actively burglarizing our homes) often do it naturally.
To use the Guy Response, listen as the person describes the problem, then say: "Wow, sounds like you're screwed. Have you seen my car keys?"
If the friend keeps trying to get your attention ("Are you listening to me? I've got a problem here!"), you can say, "I think I left them in the car. I'm going to check." Then leave.
There's a variation on this response, which I enjoy using on help resisters who bemoan First World problems like a delay in scheduling liposuction, or the inability to get people to weedwack their yards for less than minimum wage.
While staring at the person with an expression of shock and awe, say, "Oh my God, that's horrible." (You can find suitable facial expressions by going to YouTube and searching for the terms "dramatic chipmunk" and "dramatic lemur." Seriously -- check them out.) Then go look for your keys.
These "leave it" reactions are extremely effective, and can be quite enjoyable if you don't mind being crossed off a few holiday greeting-card lists. Wherever you want to avoid that side effect, try the more complex and thoughtful "lead it" strategy.
Leading it: The constructive response
When someone you really love goes into help-resistance mode, it may be time for you to lead the situation. In this case, that means asking for the information you need to be genuinely helpful. Say something like this:
"I can tell you need some kind of support from me, but I'm not exactly sure what it looks like. Do you want me to help you brainstorm solutions? Should I just be a neutral backboard, so you can bounce ideas off me? Or do you just need someone to understand how frustrated you're feeling? Tell me what you need. I'm here for you 100 percent." Oprah.com: How to have the hard talks
If you say this sincerely, even many people who habitually resist help will stop mindlessly backhanding your ideas and think through their real desires. This creates an atmosphere of honesty and relaxation, where real problem solving is most likely to occur -- and it also improves your relationship. In tennis scoring, I believe they call it "love."
Every now and again, I get into a mental match with a particularly resistant and annoying help resister: me. I hear my own voice, talking either to myself or a frustrated friend: "I need to work out, but I can't exercise in the morning because I always get injured when I do. By noon it's too hot, and I hate exercising indoors. And at night I'm just exhausted."
I can only imagine how frustrating this must be for my friends and family, given that it makes me want to knock myself unconscious with my own racket. Fortunately, the same approaches that work on others work splendidly when I'm the source of the problem.
The fastest way to bring change to a resistant situation is to accept it. Don't believe me? Try this: Think of a subject where you feel ambivalent (you want a baby but worry about your career; you're environmentally sensitive but can't imagine surrendering your Humvee; you're strictly vegan except that you so adore veal binges). Whatever your issue, write it down. Now, decide to do one thing or the other. Now! Right now!
You probably noticed that pressure spikes your anxiety, anger, rage, panic... in a word, your resistance. The best case is that it shoves you into quick decisions that don't really resolve your ambivalence. So let's try another approach. Let's say that for the next hour, you'll simply accept that you're not sure what to do. That's okay. Uncertainty won't kill you. For one hour, let it be.
If you do this mindfully, you'll feel a sense of relief, a space opening around the difficult issue. This enhances creativity -- so, paradoxically, accepting indecisiveness actually frees your mind to devise effective solutions. That's where the other two strategies come in.
Perhaps you feel obligated to do something you deeply don't want to do, such as watching political debates or contacting your PTA group leader. You may be resisting all suggestions because what you really want to do is simply "leave it." Quit the hated job. Don't return the e-mail. Just say nothing.
This is a daring solution, but think: Is "leaving" the problem really scarier than coming up with reasons not to leave the problem? If your answer is "yes," you may have reached a true impasse. Strangely enough, it's when you feel really helpless that you must pick up your authority and "lead" the situation.
You not only can but must lead situations where you genuinely need help. No one except you can say exactly what's stopping you, exactly where you're blocked by confusion or ignorance. Take charge not by demanding and then ignoring the help that's offered but by figuring out as clearly as you can just what you need, then requesting assistance from people who, in your judgment, are likely to be able to provide it. Even if they can't help you, they can usually refer you to someone else who can.
When Margaret did this, she understood her real problem wasn't the logistical difficulty of returning to school but her own anxiety about doing something new. Once she admitted that, she chose the hero's solution: Feel the fear and do it anyway.
Of course, she did need her family's assistance. She asked them if they'd share housework and driving. They exceeded her expectations, offering all sorts of suggestions, which Margaret gratefully accepted. Game, set, and match to Team Margaret.
Moving forward
If you follow the three Ls whenever you encounter help resistance, you'll find yourself playing a lot less verbal tennis. Excuse-making, whining, and pointless reiteration will disappear from your life. Not only will people who ask for help (but ignore it) cease seeking you out but you'll find yourself more capable of either peacefully accepting periods of indecision or getting the effective assistance that moves you forward quickly and decisively.
All the energy that once went into complaining, suggesting, and complaining some more (back and forth and back and forth and back and frigging forth) will align to propel you toward adventures and achievements.
I'm absolutely sure you can do this -- you with that clever mind, that resourceful nature, that winning smile. So get going, kiddo!
What's that? You're not sure of yourself? You have doubts? Things are more complicated than that?
Wow, I had no idea. I guess you're screwed. Have you seen my car keys?
By Martha Beck from "O, The Oprah Magazine," December 2008
Saturday, November 29, 2008
'Tis the Season...
(CNN) -- Three violent deaths in two stores marred the opening of the Christmas shopping season Friday.
In the first, a temporary Wal-Mart employee was trampled to death in a rush of thousands of early morning shoppers as he and other employees attempted to unlock the doors of a Long Island, New York, store at 5 a.m., police said.
In the second, unrelated incident, two men were shot dead in a Toys "R" Us in Palm Desert, California, after they argued in the store, police said.
The toy company and authorities said the California shootings had nothing to do with shopping on Black Friday, which is historically one of the year's busiest shopping days.
The Wal-Mart worker, whom authorities did not identify, was 34 and lived in Queens, said Nassau County police Detective Lt. Michael Fleming. "This was utter chaos as these men tried to open the door this morning," Fleming said.
Video showed as many as a dozen people knocked to the floor in the stampede of people trying to get into the store, Fleming said. The employee was "stepped on by hundreds of people" as other workers attempted to fight their way through the crowd, Fleming said.
"Several minutes" passed before others were able to clear space around the man and attempt to render aid. Police arrived, and "as they were giving first aid, those police officers were also jostled and pushed," he said. "Shoppers ... were on a full-out run into the store," he said.
The crowd had begun forming outside the store by 9 p.m. Thursday, Fleming said. By 5 a.m. Friday, when the doors were unlocked, there were 2,000 or so shoppers, many of whom "surged forward," breaking the doors, he said.
The man was taken by ambulance to a hospital, where he was pronounced dead.
Others in the crowd sustained minor injuries such as sprained ankles, Fleming said.
A 28-year-old pregnant woman was taken to a hospital, but "the baby is going to be OK," Fleming said. She was to be released later in the day, he said.
The California shootings occurred about 11:30 a.m. (2:30 p.m. ET), authorities said.
By the time police arrived, two men were dead from gunshot wounds, Riverside County sheriff's Sgt. Dennis Gutierrez said. He said authorities are not seeking any other suspects.
Gutierrez said that the men did not appear to be store employees and that the dispute appeared unrelated to shopping.
"There was a confrontation inside of the store. But over a toy? I don't think that is accurate," he said.
Two handguns were found near the men's bodies, Gutierrez said.
In a written statement, Toys "R" Us spokeswoman Kathleen Waugh said the shooting appeared unrelated to the heavy shopping day.
"Our understanding is that this act seems to have been the result of a personal dispute between the individuals involved," she said.
She said company officials were "outraged" by the shooting and were working with authorities to find out what happened.
Gutierrez said no one else in the store was injured. The store remained closed Friday afternoon but was expected to open as usual Saturday.
He said authorities would not release the men's names until their families have been notified.
Daniel Watson said he was at home with his children when his wife called from the Toys "R" Us store, where she and her mother were shopping.
"All I could hear was gunshots in the back," he said. "She said, 'They're in here shooting.' I told her to run and hide, stay down and hide."
He said his wife did just that, ducking under a clothes rack until the threat was over. Watson said neither woman was hurt.
Asked about the possibility of criminal charges in the Wal-Mart death, Fleming said he would not rule it out but noted that charges would be "very difficult," as it would be "almost impossible" to identify people in the crowd from the video, and those in the front of the crowd were pushed by those behind them.
Hundreds of people may have lined up in an orderly fashion but got caught up in the rush, he said.
Wal-Mart spokesman Kelly Cheeseman issued a statement saying, "We are saddened to report that a gentleman who was working for a temporary agency on our behalf died at the store and a few other customers were injured. Our thoughts and prayers are with their families at this difficult time."
The company is investigating the incident, the statement said.
Officers patrolling the shopping center overnight had had concerns about the size of the crowd, Fleming said, and had tried to get those in line better organized. Wal-Mart security officers were also present overnight, but he said he did not know how many.
"I don't know what it's worth to Wal-Mart or to any of these stores that run these sales events," Fleming said, "but it has become common knowledge that large crowds do gather on the Friday after Thanksgiving in response to these sales and in an effort to do their holiday shopping at the cheapest prices.
"I think it is incumbent upon the commercial establishments to recognize that this has the potential to occur at any store. Today, it happened to be Wal-Mart. It could have been any other store where hundreds and hundreds of people gather."
Asked whether the security had been adequate, Fleming said, "In light of the outcome, in hindsight, the answer is obviously no. ... This crowd was out of control."
In the first, a temporary Wal-Mart employee was trampled to death in a rush of thousands of early morning shoppers as he and other employees attempted to unlock the doors of a Long Island, New York, store at 5 a.m., police said.
In the second, unrelated incident, two men were shot dead in a Toys "R" Us in Palm Desert, California, after they argued in the store, police said.
The toy company and authorities said the California shootings had nothing to do with shopping on Black Friday, which is historically one of the year's busiest shopping days.
The Wal-Mart worker, whom authorities did not identify, was 34 and lived in Queens, said Nassau County police Detective Lt. Michael Fleming. "This was utter chaos as these men tried to open the door this morning," Fleming said.
Video showed as many as a dozen people knocked to the floor in the stampede of people trying to get into the store, Fleming said. The employee was "stepped on by hundreds of people" as other workers attempted to fight their way through the crowd, Fleming said.
"Several minutes" passed before others were able to clear space around the man and attempt to render aid. Police arrived, and "as they were giving first aid, those police officers were also jostled and pushed," he said. "Shoppers ... were on a full-out run into the store," he said.
The crowd had begun forming outside the store by 9 p.m. Thursday, Fleming said. By 5 a.m. Friday, when the doors were unlocked, there were 2,000 or so shoppers, many of whom "surged forward," breaking the doors, he said.
The man was taken by ambulance to a hospital, where he was pronounced dead.
Others in the crowd sustained minor injuries such as sprained ankles, Fleming said.
A 28-year-old pregnant woman was taken to a hospital, but "the baby is going to be OK," Fleming said. She was to be released later in the day, he said.
The California shootings occurred about 11:30 a.m. (2:30 p.m. ET), authorities said.
By the time police arrived, two men were dead from gunshot wounds, Riverside County sheriff's Sgt. Dennis Gutierrez said. He said authorities are not seeking any other suspects.
Gutierrez said that the men did not appear to be store employees and that the dispute appeared unrelated to shopping.
"There was a confrontation inside of the store. But over a toy? I don't think that is accurate," he said.
Two handguns were found near the men's bodies, Gutierrez said.
In a written statement, Toys "R" Us spokeswoman Kathleen Waugh said the shooting appeared unrelated to the heavy shopping day.
"Our understanding is that this act seems to have been the result of a personal dispute between the individuals involved," she said.
She said company officials were "outraged" by the shooting and were working with authorities to find out what happened.
Gutierrez said no one else in the store was injured. The store remained closed Friday afternoon but was expected to open as usual Saturday.
He said authorities would not release the men's names until their families have been notified.
Daniel Watson said he was at home with his children when his wife called from the Toys "R" Us store, where she and her mother were shopping.
"All I could hear was gunshots in the back," he said. "She said, 'They're in here shooting.' I told her to run and hide, stay down and hide."
He said his wife did just that, ducking under a clothes rack until the threat was over. Watson said neither woman was hurt.
Asked about the possibility of criminal charges in the Wal-Mart death, Fleming said he would not rule it out but noted that charges would be "very difficult," as it would be "almost impossible" to identify people in the crowd from the video, and those in the front of the crowd were pushed by those behind them.
Hundreds of people may have lined up in an orderly fashion but got caught up in the rush, he said.
Wal-Mart spokesman Kelly Cheeseman issued a statement saying, "We are saddened to report that a gentleman who was working for a temporary agency on our behalf died at the store and a few other customers were injured. Our thoughts and prayers are with their families at this difficult time."
The company is investigating the incident, the statement said.
Officers patrolling the shopping center overnight had had concerns about the size of the crowd, Fleming said, and had tried to get those in line better organized. Wal-Mart security officers were also present overnight, but he said he did not know how many.
"I don't know what it's worth to Wal-Mart or to any of these stores that run these sales events," Fleming said, "but it has become common knowledge that large crowds do gather on the Friday after Thanksgiving in response to these sales and in an effort to do their holiday shopping at the cheapest prices.
"I think it is incumbent upon the commercial establishments to recognize that this has the potential to occur at any store. Today, it happened to be Wal-Mart. It could have been any other store where hundreds and hundreds of people gather."
Asked whether the security had been adequate, Fleming said, "In light of the outcome, in hindsight, the answer is obviously no. ... This crowd was out of control."
Flexible Vegetarians Come Out of the Closet
Dietitian Dawn Jackson Blatner is a flexitarian, which is defined as a vegetarian who is flexible enough to eat some meat, poultry or fish.
She discusses the diet in her new book "The Flexitarian Diet." She says it's a "win-win" because people get the health benefits of vegetarianism without the limitations, although some disagree.
Read her story and some of here dietary recommendations here.
She discusses the diet in her new book "The Flexitarian Diet." She says it's a "win-win" because people get the health benefits of vegetarianism without the limitations, although some disagree.
Read her story and some of here dietary recommendations here.
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Childhood Hunger Grows
WASHINGTON (AP) -- Some 691,000 children went hungry in America sometime in 2007, while close to one in eight Americans struggled to feed themselves adequately even before this year's sharp economic downturn, the Agriculture Department reported Monday.
The department's annual report on food security showed that during 2007 the number of children who suffered a substantial disruption in the amount of food they typically eat was more than 50 percent above the 430,000 in 2006 and the largest figure since 716,000 in 1998.
Overall, the 36.2 million adults and children who struggled with hunger during the year was up slightly from 35.5 million in 2006. That was 12.2 percent of Americans who didn't have the money or assistance to get enough food to maintain active, healthy lives.
Almost a third of those, 11.9 million adults and children, went hungry at some point. That figure has grown by more than 40 percent since 2000. The government says these people suffered a substantial disruption in their food supply at some point and classifies them as having "very low food security." Until the government rewrote its definitions two years ago, this group was described as having "food insecurity with hunger."
The findings should increase pressure to meet President-elect Barack Obama's campaign pledge to expand food aid and end childhood hunger by 2015, said James Weill, president of the Food Research and Action Center, an anti-hunger group.
He predicted the 2008 numbers will show even more hunger because of the sharp economic downturn this year.
"There's every reason to think the increases in the number of hungry people will be very, very large based on the increased demand we're seeing this year at food stamp agencies, emergency kitchens, Women, Infants and Children clinics, really across the entire social service support structure," said James Weill, president of the Food Research and Action Center, an anti-hunger group.
Weill said the figures show that economic growth during the first seven years of the Bush administration didn't reach the poorest and hungriest people. "The people in the deepest poverty are suffering the most," Weill said.
The number of adults and children with "low food security" -- those who avoided substantial food disruptions but still struggled to eat -- fell slightly since 2000, from 24.7 million to 24.3 million. The government said these people have several ways of coping -- eating less varied diets, obtaining food from emergency kitchens or community food charities, or participating in federal aid programs like food stamps, the school lunch program or the Women, Infants and Children program.
Among other findings:
• The families with the highest rates of food insecurity were headed by single mothers (30.2 percent), black households (22.2 percent), Hispanic households (20.1 percent), and households with incomes below the official poverty line (37.7 percent).
• States with families reporting the highest prevalence of food insecurity during 2005-2007 were Mississippi (17.4 percent), New Mexico (15 percent), Texas (14.8 percent) and Arkansas (14.4 percent).
• The highest growth in food insecurity over the last 9 years came in Alaska and Iowa, both of which saw a 3.7 percent increase in families who struggled to eat adequately or had substantial food disruptions.
The department's annual report on food security showed that during 2007 the number of children who suffered a substantial disruption in the amount of food they typically eat was more than 50 percent above the 430,000 in 2006 and the largest figure since 716,000 in 1998.
Overall, the 36.2 million adults and children who struggled with hunger during the year was up slightly from 35.5 million in 2006. That was 12.2 percent of Americans who didn't have the money or assistance to get enough food to maintain active, healthy lives.
Almost a third of those, 11.9 million adults and children, went hungry at some point. That figure has grown by more than 40 percent since 2000. The government says these people suffered a substantial disruption in their food supply at some point and classifies them as having "very low food security." Until the government rewrote its definitions two years ago, this group was described as having "food insecurity with hunger."
The findings should increase pressure to meet President-elect Barack Obama's campaign pledge to expand food aid and end childhood hunger by 2015, said James Weill, president of the Food Research and Action Center, an anti-hunger group.
He predicted the 2008 numbers will show even more hunger because of the sharp economic downturn this year.
"There's every reason to think the increases in the number of hungry people will be very, very large based on the increased demand we're seeing this year at food stamp agencies, emergency kitchens, Women, Infants and Children clinics, really across the entire social service support structure," said James Weill, president of the Food Research and Action Center, an anti-hunger group.
Weill said the figures show that economic growth during the first seven years of the Bush administration didn't reach the poorest and hungriest people. "The people in the deepest poverty are suffering the most," Weill said.
The number of adults and children with "low food security" -- those who avoided substantial food disruptions but still struggled to eat -- fell slightly since 2000, from 24.7 million to 24.3 million. The government said these people have several ways of coping -- eating less varied diets, obtaining food from emergency kitchens or community food charities, or participating in federal aid programs like food stamps, the school lunch program or the Women, Infants and Children program.
Among other findings:
• The families with the highest rates of food insecurity were headed by single mothers (30.2 percent), black households (22.2 percent), Hispanic households (20.1 percent), and households with incomes below the official poverty line (37.7 percent).
• States with families reporting the highest prevalence of food insecurity during 2005-2007 were Mississippi (17.4 percent), New Mexico (15 percent), Texas (14.8 percent) and Arkansas (14.4 percent).
• The highest growth in food insecurity over the last 9 years came in Alaska and Iowa, both of which saw a 3.7 percent increase in families who struggled to eat adequately or had substantial food disruptions.
Monday, November 10, 2008
Nonprofit Eatery Can't Bring Home Bacon
By Kathy Stephenson The Salt Lake Tribune -- The Salt Lake Tribune, November 9, 2008
For nearly a year, Salt Lake City's One World Cafe - founded on the altruistic goal of letting customers set their own meal price - has been on a crash course with business reality.
In mid-October, employee paychecks bounced and the longtime manager was fired. Bo Dean's dismissal angered the rest of the staff enough that they walked out in protest.
Founder Denise Cerreta was forced to call a temporary staffing agency so she could serve customers.
Inexperience seems to be the main problem for the nonprofit cafe at 41 S. 300 East.
"As the restaurant grew, I didn't have the expertise at running a kitchen," acknowledged Cerreta during a media teleconference call on Friday. "We needed more structure and a more professional kitchen."
A recent review of the business showed the restaurant was overstaffed and management of employee time was poor. It never even had an employee time clock. The restaurant also had failed to keep concise records of food costs and fixed costs. All told, mismanagement cost the restaurant $8,000 to $10,000 a month, Cerreta said.
"There just wasn't a system in place so that it would work as a professional establishment," added Steve Lyman, a longtime restaurant manager from Squatters, Red Rock and Bambara, who is volunteering his time to help get One World in order.
During the past week, the restaurant has implemented new kitchen procedures and hired a new executive chef and sous chef.
"We were financially shaky, but we will be fine," Cerreta said. "We are in no danger of us closing."
Following tradition wasn't what Cerreta wanted when she founded The One World "Everybody Eats" Cafe five years ago.
She envisioned a restaurant with no menus or set prices. Cerreta, and later her chefs, would make entrees, soups, salads and desserts from organic meats and locally grown produce. Diners filled their plates with only the food they wanted and paid what they thought the meal was worth or what they could afford.
The idea was unique and quickly gained national attention. Cerreta turned the business into the nonprofit One World Everybody Eats Foundation with its own board of directors. She traveled the country speaking about the concept and helped people start similar community kitchens in other cities.
But this summer, while Cerreta was in Seattle, One World's revenues began declining. Meal donations, which once averaged $10, had fallen to $7.
At one point, the bank account was so depleted that employee paychecks bounced.
"Mine didn't clear for 3 1/2 months," said Dean, who had worked at the restaurant since its inception. He had been asked to create a more professional operation in recent months, but when the board decided he wasn't up to the task, they fired him.
Dean believes Cerreta's constant absence from the restaurant and lack of communication exacerbated the financial problems.
To expand the "One World" concept, Cerreta was out of town much of the time, he said. She also has pulled trained chefs away from day-to-day restaurant operations to help with the expansion.
"It's hard to implement changes when I was the only one around," said Dean, who heard that he had been fired from a fellow employee - not Cerreta or the board.
For nearly a year, Salt Lake City's One World Cafe - founded on the altruistic goal of letting customers set their own meal price - has been on a crash course with business reality.
In mid-October, employee paychecks bounced and the longtime manager was fired. Bo Dean's dismissal angered the rest of the staff enough that they walked out in protest.
Founder Denise Cerreta was forced to call a temporary staffing agency so she could serve customers.
Inexperience seems to be the main problem for the nonprofit cafe at 41 S. 300 East.
"As the restaurant grew, I didn't have the expertise at running a kitchen," acknowledged Cerreta during a media teleconference call on Friday. "We needed more structure and a more professional kitchen."
A recent review of the business showed the restaurant was overstaffed and management of employee time was poor. It never even had an employee time clock. The restaurant also had failed to keep concise records of food costs and fixed costs. All told, mismanagement cost the restaurant $8,000 to $10,000 a month, Cerreta said.
"There just wasn't a system in place so that it would work as a professional establishment," added Steve Lyman, a longtime restaurant manager from Squatters, Red Rock and Bambara, who is volunteering his time to help get One World in order.
During the past week, the restaurant has implemented new kitchen procedures and hired a new executive chef and sous chef.
"We were financially shaky, but we will be fine," Cerreta said. "We are in no danger of us closing."
Following tradition wasn't what Cerreta wanted when she founded The One World "Everybody Eats" Cafe five years ago.
She envisioned a restaurant with no menus or set prices. Cerreta, and later her chefs, would make entrees, soups, salads and desserts from organic meats and locally grown produce. Diners filled their plates with only the food they wanted and paid what they thought the meal was worth or what they could afford.
The idea was unique and quickly gained national attention. Cerreta turned the business into the nonprofit One World Everybody Eats Foundation with its own board of directors. She traveled the country speaking about the concept and helped people start similar community kitchens in other cities.
But this summer, while Cerreta was in Seattle, One World's revenues began declining. Meal donations, which once averaged $10, had fallen to $7.
At one point, the bank account was so depleted that employee paychecks bounced.
"Mine didn't clear for 3 1/2 months," said Dean, who had worked at the restaurant since its inception. He had been asked to create a more professional operation in recent months, but when the board decided he wasn't up to the task, they fired him.
Dean believes Cerreta's constant absence from the restaurant and lack of communication exacerbated the financial problems.
To expand the "One World" concept, Cerreta was out of town much of the time, he said. She also has pulled trained chefs away from day-to-day restaurant operations to help with the expansion.
"It's hard to implement changes when I was the only one around," said Dean, who heard that he had been fired from a fellow employee - not Cerreta or the board.
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
The Nun and the Taxi Driver
From today's correspondence:
A cabbie picks up a Nun.
She gets into the cab, and notices that the VERY handsome cab driver won't stop staring at her.
She asks him why he is staring.
He replies: 'I have a question to ask you but I don't want to offend you.
She answers, 'My son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive.'
'Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me.'
She responds, 'Well, let's see what we can do about that: #1, you have to be single and #2, you must be Catholic.'
The cab driver is very excited and says, 'Yes, I'm single and Catholic!'
'OK' the nun says. 'Pull into the next alley.'
The nun fulfills his fantasy, with a kiss that would make a hooker blush, But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying.
'My dear child,' says the nun, 'why are you crying?'
'Forgive me but I've sinned. I lied and I must confess, I'm married and I'm Jewish.'
The nun says, 'That's OK. My name is Kevin and I'm going to a Halloween party.'
A cabbie picks up a Nun.
She gets into the cab, and notices that the VERY handsome cab driver won't stop staring at her.
She asks him why he is staring.
He replies: 'I have a question to ask you but I don't want to offend you.
She answers, 'My son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive.'
'Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me.'
She responds, 'Well, let's see what we can do about that: #1, you have to be single and #2, you must be Catholic.'
The cab driver is very excited and says, 'Yes, I'm single and Catholic!'
'OK' the nun says. 'Pull into the next alley.'
The nun fulfills his fantasy, with a kiss that would make a hooker blush, But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying.
'My dear child,' says the nun, 'why are you crying?'
'Forgive me but I've sinned. I lied and I must confess, I'm married and I'm Jewish.'
The nun says, 'That's OK. My name is Kevin and I'm going to a Halloween party.'
Sunday, November 2, 2008
Too Few Understand Diabetes' Dangers
By Kathleen Doheny
TUESDAY, Oct. 28 (HealthDay News) -- While millions of Americans are at risk for developing diabetes, too few perceive the threat it can pose to their health, according to a new survey.
In fact, most respondents feared shark bites, plane crashes or cancer more, even though they are more likely to get diabetes, according to the pollsters.
"We undertook the survey because we are trying to better understand why people aren't taking diabetes as seriously as we need people to take this disease," said Ann Albright, director of the division of diabetes translation for the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and a spokeswoman for the American Diabetes Association (ADA), which sponsored the survey.
While 49 percent of the more than 2,400 U.S. adults polled said they most feared cancer as a potential health problem, just 3 percent said they worried about diabetes. In fact, each disease has about the same number of expected new cases each year, more than a million annually.
Overall, one in 10 U.S. adults, or 10 percent, have been diagnosed with diabetes at some point in their lives, compared to 6 percent who have experienced cancer, the ADA says.
"Our point is not that people shouldn't be concerned about cancer," Albright said. "We are trying to help people put things in a more accurate perspective."
After cancer, respondents next feared heart disease, mentioned by 12 percent, and nervous system disorders, noted by 11 percent.
The online poll was conducted by Harris Interactive in August 2008.
Other answers in the survey also suggest that people's fears are not realistic. When asked to pick from a potential list of accidents, plane crashes topped the list, noted by 16 percent of respondents. That was followed by lighting strikes, feared by 5 percent, vehicle accidents, 3 percent, and fire, 2 percent.
Asked to note their concerns with animal or insect contact, 13 percent noted snake bites and 8 percent spider bites. Four percent mentioned shark attacks.
About 70 confirmed shark attacks occur globally each year, experts estimate, and in 2007, 491 people died in plane crashes.
In contrast, 233,619 Americans died in 2005 from causes related to diabetes, the ADA noted.
The survey results suggest people need to assess their diabetes risk and take it more seriously, Albright said. Keeping to a healthy weight, or shedding excess pounds, is one big step to reducing the odds for diabetes. In fact, losing just 5 percent or 10 percent of body weight can help, she said.
The results suggest that people need to increase their awareness of diabetes risk, added Dr. David M. Nathan, director of the Diabetes Center at Massachusetts General Hospital, Boston, and a professor of medicine at Harvard Medical School. He reviewed the poll results but was not involved in the survey.
People "should be more concerned about getting it," Nathan said. The good news is they can sometimes prevent it with lifestyle change and, if they are diagnosed, keep diabetes under control.
Amparo Gonzalez, president of the American Association of Diabetes Educators, agreed.
"The finding that only 3 percent of people surveyed feared being diagnosed with diabetes is surprising," Gonzalez said. Like Nathan, she emphasized that the disease is often preventable if lifestyle changes are made in time.
To learn more about your diabetes risk, visit the American Diabetes Association.
TUESDAY, Oct. 28 (HealthDay News) -- While millions of Americans are at risk for developing diabetes, too few perceive the threat it can pose to their health, according to a new survey.
In fact, most respondents feared shark bites, plane crashes or cancer more, even though they are more likely to get diabetes, according to the pollsters.
"We undertook the survey because we are trying to better understand why people aren't taking diabetes as seriously as we need people to take this disease," said Ann Albright, director of the division of diabetes translation for the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and a spokeswoman for the American Diabetes Association (ADA), which sponsored the survey.
While 49 percent of the more than 2,400 U.S. adults polled said they most feared cancer as a potential health problem, just 3 percent said they worried about diabetes. In fact, each disease has about the same number of expected new cases each year, more than a million annually.
Overall, one in 10 U.S. adults, or 10 percent, have been diagnosed with diabetes at some point in their lives, compared to 6 percent who have experienced cancer, the ADA says.
"Our point is not that people shouldn't be concerned about cancer," Albright said. "We are trying to help people put things in a more accurate perspective."
After cancer, respondents next feared heart disease, mentioned by 12 percent, and nervous system disorders, noted by 11 percent.
The online poll was conducted by Harris Interactive in August 2008.
Other answers in the survey also suggest that people's fears are not realistic. When asked to pick from a potential list of accidents, plane crashes topped the list, noted by 16 percent of respondents. That was followed by lighting strikes, feared by 5 percent, vehicle accidents, 3 percent, and fire, 2 percent.
Asked to note their concerns with animal or insect contact, 13 percent noted snake bites and 8 percent spider bites. Four percent mentioned shark attacks.
About 70 confirmed shark attacks occur globally each year, experts estimate, and in 2007, 491 people died in plane crashes.
In contrast, 233,619 Americans died in 2005 from causes related to diabetes, the ADA noted.
The survey results suggest people need to assess their diabetes risk and take it more seriously, Albright said. Keeping to a healthy weight, or shedding excess pounds, is one big step to reducing the odds for diabetes. In fact, losing just 5 percent or 10 percent of body weight can help, she said.
The results suggest that people need to increase their awareness of diabetes risk, added Dr. David M. Nathan, director of the Diabetes Center at Massachusetts General Hospital, Boston, and a professor of medicine at Harvard Medical School. He reviewed the poll results but was not involved in the survey.
People "should be more concerned about getting it," Nathan said. The good news is they can sometimes prevent it with lifestyle change and, if they are diagnosed, keep diabetes under control.
Amparo Gonzalez, president of the American Association of Diabetes Educators, agreed.
"The finding that only 3 percent of people surveyed feared being diagnosed with diabetes is surprising," Gonzalez said. Like Nathan, she emphasized that the disease is often preventable if lifestyle changes are made in time.
To learn more about your diabetes risk, visit the American Diabetes Association.
Monday, October 27, 2008
Copyright Law Applies to Recipes Too
by Heather McPherson
October 27, 2008
I must confess. I stole something from a very nice Quaker fellow. My oatmeal cookie recipe is the one my mother used and her mother used. And it was taken from the paper canister of Quaker oatmeal.
Baking those cookies isn't the problem -- publishing the Quaker Oatmeal Cookie recipe in this newspaper or a cookbook and claiming it as my own is where you can stir up trouble.
Home cooks spread recipes around the world in a chain-letter fervor. But what happens when you take that recipe of unknown or known origin and retitle it Jean's Best Ever Oatmeal Cookies?
Copyright law is clear as corn syrup and as muddy as fudge, all at the same time. And it's public record for all to read at Copyright.gov.
The chemistry of baking, for example, revolves around known edible equations. It's when you put your thumbprint on the language of the recipe that ownership can begin to take shape -- for example, describing an accepted procedure for combining wet and dry ingredients in your distinctive voice and tone.
"A recipe infringes on another's copyright if and only if it copies some of the creative content of the recipe," says Siva Vaidhyanathan of the University of Virginia Department of Media Studies. "In other words, a simple list of ingredients, measures and amounts, and the order of steps, is not copyrightable. Facts and ideas are never copyrightable. Only the arrangement, order, illustrations and other creative expressions are protectable under copyright.
"So the bottom line is that recipes are very hard to protect. And that's probably best."
Indeed, who would want to slap Aunt Betty's hand for sharing those oatmeal cookies in her church cookbook that is raising funds to build a community playground?
What about cookbooks?
There isn't big money at stake in small-circulation books, says Orlando attorney Ava K. Doppelt, who specializes in intellectual property law. But there have been legal cases between large publishing houses where entire chapters were lifted from previously published cookbooks.
"Cookbooks as a whole are very easy to protect, says Vaidhyanathan, who wrote Copyrights and Copywrongs: The Rise of Intellectual Property and How it Threatens Creativity ( New York University Press, 2001). "They have a specific order, creative text and descriptions, and photographs or other illustrations. So copying pages from cookbooks would clearly infringe. But the recipes themselves are not the same thing."
There are occasions when fair use and one-time use come into play, says Doppelt. This newspaper, for example, is routinely granted permission to reprint published recipes in the Cooking & Eating section because publicity sells cookbooks and drives people to restaurants. When those recipes are used, credit is clearly given to the chef or cookbook author that shared the work.
Stating the source offers no clear legal protection. However, it's a good place to be, some legal experts say, should someone cry foul.
"Granting credit has nothing to do with copyright," says Vaidhyanathan. "Copying materials legally requires permission, but not necessarily credit. However, not everything written down is copyrightable. For instance, the phone book is pure information with no creative expression. So it's not protectable under copyright."
Food-industry standards
While U.S. copyright law does address recipes, within the food industry, trade groups encourage writers to engage in ethical practices as well.
The guidelines of the International Association of Culinary Professionals, for example, stress giving proper attribution to recipes. IACP advises using the words "adapted from," "based on" or "inspired by," depending on how much a recipe has been revised. But having good ethical standards is not a legal defense. It's just the right thing to do.
Recipe copyright infringement is taken seriously by the producers of high-profile cooking contests as well. For amateur cooks who participate in the Pillsbury Bake-Off, the recipes they submit as their own had better be their own. Bake-Off officials perform exhaustive "originality" searches on the 100 finalists, says contest publicist Peg Ilkka. Contestants whose recipes do not have at least several significant differences are disqualified.
For the rest of the story, read on here.
October 27, 2008
I must confess. I stole something from a very nice Quaker fellow. My oatmeal cookie recipe is the one my mother used and her mother used. And it was taken from the paper canister of Quaker oatmeal.
Baking those cookies isn't the problem -- publishing the Quaker Oatmeal Cookie recipe in this newspaper or a cookbook and claiming it as my own is where you can stir up trouble.
Home cooks spread recipes around the world in a chain-letter fervor. But what happens when you take that recipe of unknown or known origin and retitle it Jean's Best Ever Oatmeal Cookies?
Copyright law is clear as corn syrup and as muddy as fudge, all at the same time. And it's public record for all to read at Copyright.gov.
The chemistry of baking, for example, revolves around known edible equations. It's when you put your thumbprint on the language of the recipe that ownership can begin to take shape -- for example, describing an accepted procedure for combining wet and dry ingredients in your distinctive voice and tone.
"A recipe infringes on another's copyright if and only if it copies some of the creative content of the recipe," says Siva Vaidhyanathan of the University of Virginia Department of Media Studies. "In other words, a simple list of ingredients, measures and amounts, and the order of steps, is not copyrightable. Facts and ideas are never copyrightable. Only the arrangement, order, illustrations and other creative expressions are protectable under copyright.
"So the bottom line is that recipes are very hard to protect. And that's probably best."
Indeed, who would want to slap Aunt Betty's hand for sharing those oatmeal cookies in her church cookbook that is raising funds to build a community playground?
What about cookbooks?
There isn't big money at stake in small-circulation books, says Orlando attorney Ava K. Doppelt, who specializes in intellectual property law. But there have been legal cases between large publishing houses where entire chapters were lifted from previously published cookbooks.
"Cookbooks as a whole are very easy to protect, says Vaidhyanathan, who wrote Copyrights and Copywrongs: The Rise of Intellectual Property and How it Threatens Creativity ( New York University Press, 2001). "They have a specific order, creative text and descriptions, and photographs or other illustrations. So copying pages from cookbooks would clearly infringe. But the recipes themselves are not the same thing."
There are occasions when fair use and one-time use come into play, says Doppelt. This newspaper, for example, is routinely granted permission to reprint published recipes in the Cooking & Eating section because publicity sells cookbooks and drives people to restaurants. When those recipes are used, credit is clearly given to the chef or cookbook author that shared the work.
Stating the source offers no clear legal protection. However, it's a good place to be, some legal experts say, should someone cry foul.
"Granting credit has nothing to do with copyright," says Vaidhyanathan. "Copying materials legally requires permission, but not necessarily credit. However, not everything written down is copyrightable. For instance, the phone book is pure information with no creative expression. So it's not protectable under copyright."
Food-industry standards
While U.S. copyright law does address recipes, within the food industry, trade groups encourage writers to engage in ethical practices as well.
The guidelines of the International Association of Culinary Professionals, for example, stress giving proper attribution to recipes. IACP advises using the words "adapted from," "based on" or "inspired by," depending on how much a recipe has been revised. But having good ethical standards is not a legal defense. It's just the right thing to do.
Recipe copyright infringement is taken seriously by the producers of high-profile cooking contests as well. For amateur cooks who participate in the Pillsbury Bake-Off, the recipes they submit as their own had better be their own. Bake-Off officials perform exhaustive "originality" searches on the 100 finalists, says contest publicist Peg Ilkka. Contestants whose recipes do not have at least several significant differences are disqualified.
For the rest of the story, read on here.
Saturday, October 18, 2008
That Comes with a Side of Blarney
'Spitfire' Waitress Going Strong at 88
NEW YORK (AP) -- She's petite, white-haired and 88 years old. And if you ask Rosie the waitress what's in the meat loaf, she's likely to tell you, "It's made of old socks."
Order clams and she'll say, in her delightful Northern Ireland brogue, "I'd rather be shot than eat clams."
Rose Donaghey is a bit of a legend in the East Bronx, so well-liked and well-known that she can attract business to a new restaurant -- as she's doing these days at the Wicked Wolf.
The restaurant's manager, Kathy Gallagher, hired Donaghey 14 years ago at Charlie's Inn, a German-Irish hangout that was the traditional ending point for the local St. Patrick's Day parade.
"She was, what, 70-something then, and when she asked me about a job I thought she meant for her daughter -- or granddaughter," Gallagher said. "My mother-in-law said, `Just give her a chance."'
Charlie's closed last year, and Donaghey figured that was the end of her career.
"I felt lost," she said.
Then the Wicked Wolf hired Gallagher. Two months ago, she called Donaghey.
Gallagher says Donaghey's success is built on "her personality and her charm -- she's a little bit of a spitfire. ... She can take orders, come out and serve people, and then talk to them and keep them entertained. I know they're coming in to see her."
Attorney James Newman comes in only when Donaghey is working -- Tuesdays and Wednesdays, 11 a.m. to 4 p.m.
"Any time you joke with her, she jokes back," he said this week. "She always tries to order for you. You ask for a burger well done and she says, `I'll have it cremated."'
Donaghey can't rush around any more, and other waitresses enter her orders into the computer. She brought a Budweiser instead of a Bud Light to one table, but turned it into a joke: "I'd blame the bartender," she whispered.
Rose McElroy, born in 1920 in County Tyrone, married James Donaghey in 1947. They came to America in 1949.
Her sister had a bar in Queens. "I arrived on a Friday and she put me to work on the Saturday," Donaghey said.
"My first customer was a lady who came in off the beach with all these kids and said, `I'm so tired. I need a screwdriver,"' Donaghey said. "Well, I didn't know what a screwdriver was except for the tool you'd use, so I went in the back and asked the boss for a screwdriver. `It's a drink,' he told me."
Things went better after that. She had four children and part-time jobs: a Fifth Avenue tea house; a Jewish deli in the Bronx.
Donaghey was retired when her husband died in 1994. The funeral lunch was held at Charlie's Inn, and Donaghey apparently thought the place could use her help.
Donaghey says she doesn't have to work. There's Social Security, and her three surviving children would help out if needed. She won't say what she gets paid, but Gallagher thinks she knows where the extra income goes: into the church basket. Donaghey takes in a Mass every day, in person or on TV.
"The world might have changed but I never change," she said.
Asked what it takes to be a great waitress, Donaghey said, "Be pleasant, and let them take their pick of tables." Later she thought of something else.
"I guess it's the blarney," she said.
NEW YORK (AP) -- She's petite, white-haired and 88 years old. And if you ask Rosie the waitress what's in the meat loaf, she's likely to tell you, "It's made of old socks."
Order clams and she'll say, in her delightful Northern Ireland brogue, "I'd rather be shot than eat clams."
Rose Donaghey is a bit of a legend in the East Bronx, so well-liked and well-known that she can attract business to a new restaurant -- as she's doing these days at the Wicked Wolf.
The restaurant's manager, Kathy Gallagher, hired Donaghey 14 years ago at Charlie's Inn, a German-Irish hangout that was the traditional ending point for the local St. Patrick's Day parade.
"She was, what, 70-something then, and when she asked me about a job I thought she meant for her daughter -- or granddaughter," Gallagher said. "My mother-in-law said, `Just give her a chance."'
Charlie's closed last year, and Donaghey figured that was the end of her career.
"I felt lost," she said.
Then the Wicked Wolf hired Gallagher. Two months ago, she called Donaghey.
Gallagher says Donaghey's success is built on "her personality and her charm -- she's a little bit of a spitfire. ... She can take orders, come out and serve people, and then talk to them and keep them entertained. I know they're coming in to see her."
Attorney James Newman comes in only when Donaghey is working -- Tuesdays and Wednesdays, 11 a.m. to 4 p.m.
"Any time you joke with her, she jokes back," he said this week. "She always tries to order for you. You ask for a burger well done and she says, `I'll have it cremated."'
Donaghey can't rush around any more, and other waitresses enter her orders into the computer. She brought a Budweiser instead of a Bud Light to one table, but turned it into a joke: "I'd blame the bartender," she whispered.
Rose McElroy, born in 1920 in County Tyrone, married James Donaghey in 1947. They came to America in 1949.
Her sister had a bar in Queens. "I arrived on a Friday and she put me to work on the Saturday," Donaghey said.
"My first customer was a lady who came in off the beach with all these kids and said, `I'm so tired. I need a screwdriver,"' Donaghey said. "Well, I didn't know what a screwdriver was except for the tool you'd use, so I went in the back and asked the boss for a screwdriver. `It's a drink,' he told me."
Things went better after that. She had four children and part-time jobs: a Fifth Avenue tea house; a Jewish deli in the Bronx.
Donaghey was retired when her husband died in 1994. The funeral lunch was held at Charlie's Inn, and Donaghey apparently thought the place could use her help.
Donaghey says she doesn't have to work. There's Social Security, and her three surviving children would help out if needed. She won't say what she gets paid, but Gallagher thinks she knows where the extra income goes: into the church basket. Donaghey takes in a Mass every day, in person or on TV.
"The world might have changed but I never change," she said.
Asked what it takes to be a great waitress, Donaghey said, "Be pleasant, and let them take their pick of tables." Later she thought of something else.
"I guess it's the blarney," she said.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
"Food Jobs" Dishes on Career Options
Book explains jobs for food enthusiasts
Chewing-gum taster. Fortune cookie message writer. Spa chef.
These are just some of the jobs in the food industry author Irena Chalmers dishes about in her latest tome, "Food Jobs" (Beaufort Books, Sept. 1, 2008).
Author, publisher, producer and teacher at the Culinary Institute of America in Hyde Park, Chalmers offers advice for those looking to embark on a new career and those with a passion for the food industry who want to get started in the business.
The book offers details on choosing a professional school, the types of jobs available (vinegar taster, mushroom grower and caviar producer are just a few of the jobs out there) and where and how to find these jobs.
Chalmers shares her musings on the food industry and provides real-life wisdom from celebrity chefs such as Bobby Flay, Todd English and Anthony Bourdain, among others.
The paperback, which sells for $19.95, is available from online booksellers and her Web site, www.foodjobsbook.com.
Chewing-gum taster. Fortune cookie message writer. Spa chef.
These are just some of the jobs in the food industry author Irena Chalmers dishes about in her latest tome, "Food Jobs" (Beaufort Books, Sept. 1, 2008).
Author, publisher, producer and teacher at the Culinary Institute of America in Hyde Park, Chalmers offers advice for those looking to embark on a new career and those with a passion for the food industry who want to get started in the business.
The book offers details on choosing a professional school, the types of jobs available (vinegar taster, mushroom grower and caviar producer are just a few of the jobs out there) and where and how to find these jobs.
Chalmers shares her musings on the food industry and provides real-life wisdom from celebrity chefs such as Bobby Flay, Todd English and Anthony Bourdain, among others.
The paperback, which sells for $19.95, is available from online booksellers and her Web site, www.foodjobsbook.com.
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